Digging for Meaning

i find myself in a peculiar quandary. I have to take a decision that will veritably affect my life quite some. I have been selected in MICA, which FYI is a coveted communications school in India. Since my third year in engineering, i had wanted to be in this school... more than anywhere else in India. Then, on a fateful dinner conversation in my final year, my dad suggested that he would be happy if I chose to study in a foreign university. My dad had that proud-content smile when he suggested that. That was an important event, cuz previously I didnt allow myself to think of possibilities abroad considering the extravagant moolah it would cost. I researched Japan (the course was good, different but pricey.. but i wanted toe experience something different), Finland (almost free edu :D, but there were just too many formalities to be done4 applyin (besides i had already recieved admits from US).. but i would have loved to c the midnight sun..:( .. maybe sometime later as an businessman r...

Our success as builders of the society, its structures, its culture is largely based on our ability to 'analyse'. To deconstruct things and ideas into smaller parts, that we can comprehend and put together to provide 'us' with an 'intelligble' idea. Probably we arent evolved much yet, to comprehend the whole without deconstructing it. (or rather, we live in ignorance of our earlier spiritual achievements.)Another facet of this is our need for assumptions. We cannot build anyting without the imaginary support of assumptions. No doubt, assumptions are mostly based on solid evidences. But the success of this model of reasoning, of synthesizing and assuming, has cost us dearly. The success has enslaved most of us, and we cant c options beyond them. We employ these methods, where they are not applicable. For instance: 'abstract'[?] ideas such as human relationships, human interconnectedness. well, i questioned 'abstract', cuz we are so used to quantiz...

How can one gauge into one's soul? This intrigue is all the more urgent after the Noida incident. What if ur neighbour of twenty years turns out a devinl in disguise. How can we stop him/her if we dont know his diabolical side. How may we know, when he is gonna strike. I used to think, that these are just reults of moments of madness..but then, how does one explain the noida incident. The SOB systematically lured, plotted, raped, sawed off his victims. Is he a human to be able to do this? he very much seems like one. albeit, sould dead. loser in the yin-yang war that rages within each and everyone of us. (Every single action of ours is afterall a victory or loss of either of these two counteractive forces, the good and the bad) Lets say,the evil part is a deep dark abyss within us. It tries to suck everything around it. Once u go into it, its hard to climb out. Our good soul, however, guards around it. always trying to expand to reach out to others. So while the good soul is trying...

its so unreal to read my posts of yore, especially due to my pathetic memory.. (Did I do THAT? Was it like THaT? We were Friends?.. ) So to shake me up in my distant future...(through words...i leave a portal to past! HEavy!!!!), here's a NEWS post..news about me.. answer to all 'wassssuuuuuuppppppppps' s. i am 22 now..done with mech engg.. for good. took gre, got 1460/1600. so am trying to make use of that score by applying to US universities. Though, for MS in advertising/imc. yeah.. advertising/IMC. [amber's reaction to this - but u were doing some automobile designing stuff na?] [natz - :0] [ambya - ohh... whats next?] [piyush - awesome!] well, along with this, we at CultUth had submitted a biz plan at a biz plan competition "eureka-2006" at IITB, and guess what we got selected in the first round! :D Now we will be havin' a mentor's meet on the 10th this month. The biz plan is essentially about better Tshirt designs, and a web portal that would co...

Words flow in my veins down through fingers into the paper. Diffusing a bit, infusing a scent of the moment. The scent thats clouding over this desk is of something else... something i have often felt, but never completely understood; something so much a part of me, that i am oblivious to it for most of the times. The scent is sombre, hot and a bit stiffling, contrasting the cold winds that blow freely these days in Nasik. The scent hangs in this air that i breath, unmoving, with its heavy anchor in my heart. i can feel its weight.. trying to go deeper. (no kiddin') what is it? my brain is screaming with urgency..what is it? I am not happy.I am not sad. why must it always be either or a combination of these? there must be an alternative. Why cant i take a deep breath of reason, and dive into the vast ocean of the 'uber reality'..the conscience..the nature..the counterpart of reason? Ahh..god doesnt let us reach the choiciest gifts so easily.

I use Hutch prepaid. and it sucks. big time. They lutofy u like anything. for instance, since a week i am being charged Rs.2 for every sms..even local ones..which are supposed to be charged at rs 1. And they didnt even intimate me with any changes in the plan. result... i am lutofied with aroud rs 150.. coz like a fool, i went on my usual smsing binge, and only when my recharge ended did i realise that i was being duped. My bad, that i am so stupid to use hutch in the first place. its atrociously expensive too. and inconsistent. its ok to be expensive. but its not ok or tolerable to be inconsistent. withany changes in tariff, the customers should always be intimated. thats never done. instance2: using gprs, i downloaded 13 images. while downloading, nothing was stated on the screen of it being a competition or anything..or of it being a charged service. (and what kind of stupid competition would it be to download some pics?) and i had been billed Rs10 for every image. that too, the am...

Twist & turning, Clawing, My finger’s burning, Drawing. The last mile, Runs for miles and miles, There’s no end to this. Why am I even trying. It’s all dark here, There’s nowhere to go to. All filled thick with nothingness…. All I feel is meaningless… The only sound’s of my, Fingernails against the ground. Or when I turn around, Someone knocks from underground. Those are the long lost echoes, Of the once who stood where I am, Reliving, Retrieving… Tryin’a snatch my soul. Twisting n’ clawing, Their finger’s burning too…..