Digging for Meaning

i am a big fan of fresh starts. why? cuz they are fresh, and as with things fresh, they smell nice and juicy.. full of ready-to-ripe promises. start cuz thats the best part of every experience. the attack of a note, the foreplay, the buzz of a conversation... starts define. starts command. why to follow up when starts have all the magic and the rest is only tragic hope and hopeless maintenance? no seriously, why? apart from some abstract certainty it gives us nothing. in turn it erases so many possibilities. worse, it erases even the buzz that stings pleasurably at the mere sight of a possibility on horizon. in exchange for certainty, it plants in our heads and hearts the insects of forever-n-ever doubt. doubt of things past, doubt of things could-have-beens, doubts of future. is it grace in present or is it simply dying a slow uneventful death? hmm... maybe certainty is that valuable. maybe. but until i get tired and my bones get rickety and my eyes stop gouging out with my mou...

i am in dire need of a new thought structure, a new point of view, a new way to look at things around me. I have been through quite a few such iterations. The first prism that I looked through during my school days was pure science. Tales of great discoveries and inventions greatly affected me and instilled in me a hunger that still burns in me, for constant search of new genius, of new things, of inventions of my own, of constantly seeking alternate views, of being the first in the world at something. I acquired (more or less.. more less than more. :P) the tool that would help me in it, namely, REASON. This tool had a great role in defining me, helping me find and appreciate the beauty around. It also led me to a generation of a few ideas of my own, and as such introduced me to the utter pleasure of creation. It helped me understand the physical, palpable world around. Then things happened that introduced me to the looking glass of Philosophy & Spirituality. Reason sets up storms,...