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flying

these days i feel a driving need to accelerate and go on random bike rides. maybe its simply the need to feel the wind on my face. MICA is cordoned with high walls of trees on all sides. no trespassing of strong winds allowed. :( .
maybe its due to the fact that i have stopped waiting for people to be convinced to come with me or generally to follow my plan and now am much more comfortable doing things alone. (to tell the truth, i never push for my 'plans'.. I never know what constitutes fun for them and for the life of me, i won't ever impinge my ways onto others.. (mostly because fun to me is in total unknown. for most others its in confirmation of what they know.) )
***
ever driven in utter darkness with lights off? a little dangerous.. but not if the road is good and one which you know well. Thankfully, MICA is sufficiently out of city limits and as such one can experience the total darkness. Try it. The darkness above joins with the darkness below to form a continuum of space that gives an illusion of flying. You can suspend the feeling of being on ground and feel as if you are floating. beautiful. well, a consolation for a wingless creature.

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Ctrl-tab
Ctrl-tab...
Scroll Scroll Scoll..
Alt-tab
Alt-tab...
Catch yourself slipping away.

Deep  breath. 

Close the browser. silence the mobile and turn it away.

Open an offline-real-paper diary. Stop your thighs from lolling impatiently. Stay still. 

Pick up a pen awkwardly. ahh, the fingers are stiff. It will take a  while for them to get used to holding a pen. Quick finger exercise - open the palm, stretch finger outwards, close into a fist, dig the fingers in. Repeat.
Ok now.. about to pick up the pen again, but eyes dart towards the screen. Tempted to check email.

Shut up. The last consequential email came two months ago. Nothing of consequence is online.

Pick up the pen. Don't fetishize the object now. Get on with it. Put it on paper, write a word and start it already. If I get to a sentence, perhaps I will get into a flow and won't have to look up from the paper at all. 

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