Skip to main content

of spirituality, gods, completeness and strings

12/6/08

I was sitting in the gallery, looking out vaguely, when I felt as if there lied a thin veil of fog between me and the trees and the building at a distance. It wasn’t a fog heavy with promise of rain or the shimmering veil of obscurity born of bright burning sun. It didn’t exist except for the notion of it born of the condition singular to that time. Then I though, mightn’t it be the being that I talk of, the supernatural, the god, the repository of all loose ends of logic? (suddenly at this point myself wondering of the beauty of the words I just wrote… repository of all loose ends of logic. :D hmm.. I have potential then. And I seek out the ducktales theme song and relishing in the crunchy munchy song. Must find the hindi version.) I believe in the power of belief. And for the sake of form, (or something else, I don’t know) I believe in a supernatural entity that pervades all, continuous and ever present, dynamic: the force that aligns and directs. For comprehension I need to visualize. And to comprehend this Supreme Being I consider it as a thin mist, almost invisible but to the keen eye and mind. The quality of mist being limitless, independent of form, though can acquire and direct form at will, of silent director of the universe, of not being obtrusive but affective nevertheless, subtly or otherwise.

Then a thought occurred to me. What if this being was our senses? What if the thin mist was the vision. The sway of it - the sense of touch; the upheaval - the smell; rushing past of it - the sound; and crystallization of it - the taste. The conception of the Supreme Being not as a facilitator of senses, nor the knowledge and realization due to senses, but as the sense itself. So this being that pervades all, the being that is our sense, our belief, our being, extending outwards to all, is also the being, the belief, the senses of all and one. If we all are dipping in a common pool of life, shouldn’t it afford us into other’s belief, other’s being, other’s senses? Surely! I must try and garner some insights from it. How do I do it though? By extending myself outwards, probably playing Doris Lessing’s ‘the game’ (extending my senses outwards an inwards at the same time remaining aware of my being), probably going out and meet more folks, experimenting, debating the politics of human.

In the above discussion, I wrote three facets – belief, senses, beings while discussing a subject. Without a thought about its completeness, I shut off on it and go ahead after a moment’s stillness. Even after comprehension of such, there seems to be a huge inertia towards rethinking and probably adding some more to the ‘list’.


16/6/08


Gods. The gods, created over the past centuries and millenias are only a step or two above human beings. They show human traits. They have emotions, they even have singular purposes and motives.

But if we were to conceptualize gods now (indeed, as we do need to put our faith outside of ourselves.), we would tend to create gods that are universal, all powerful, all purposeful, malleable and most importantly not human like.

Is it because now we entertainment, more readily, the myth of perfection. We are impatient towards imperfections. So while earlier, people were ready to put their beliefs in imperfect beings so that they may be close to them. We put ours in increasingly distant beings in search of perfection.

So, earlier gods were part of everybody’s daily life, and one could hope to depend on the imperfect moody gods. Now the gods have retreated to a distant conscience and we approach the world with a resignation of faith, being increasingly isolated.

Its funny, people feeling attached to a certain place/habit separation from which is emotionally painful or confounding. Though, it seems, not to be the case with me. I can be attached and detached at the same time. Meaning, though I may harbor strong feelings of attachment and liking to the place/habit, I can easily ‘resettle’ elsewhere with ease and the new everyday existence is real to me, the past experiences some kind of myth, unreal. I carry my home within me.

Right now, I am in Nasik, having been in Mumbai for 2 months, would be staying in Ahmedabad for a year after a week of being here. Both the Mumbai experience and MICA experience are unreal to me, now. For others, Mumbai internship was not comfortable. But I quickly got used to it and it never tired or made me thirsty for home or MICA.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I am a salmon

I am a salmon. It's been a decade away from my hometown, and yet my dreams refuse to relocate along with me. When sleep hasn't claimed me yet, but neither am I awake, you may find me in Nasik.
My senses fall back into their default states of Nasik when in-between. The space is of my home in Nasik, the sight is of the things around it. I might be hungry and thinking of eating a laddoo and my hands reach out for the steel dabba stacked on an elevated wooden cupboard stuck on the left wall of kitchen. In my mind's eye, I grope for the dabba momentarily as the search yields nothing - poof. the image disintegrates. I am snapped back to reality with a mild jolt. My mind reminds me of the layout in my own kitchen. There is no airborne shelf, there is no steel container, there is no laddoo. It says, go back to sleep. and I do.

_____

I shifted 3.5k km for a less polluted and less dangerous city a year ago.
And all was good. I get to walk and how I love to walk. I am truly happi…

Exercises for a smarter nation

We, the people, are gullible idiots. C'mon, admit it. We have all been bullied into bad deals by powerful charlatans at some point or another. Governments are no different. The current one is getting away with our personal data and going about distributing our public resources and monies to its favourite cronies.This is no exceptional government. This happens all the time, in all the countries - to varying degrees. The varying part is important. I would much rather be in Norway where the leeway for such giveaways against the interest of public is small, compared to Angola and Nigeria where the oil bonanza instead has become oil curse.

One of the important ways for moving towards Norway and away from Nigeria is for the public to become aware and educated about power. Education is a bad word now - what India creates in not educated people, it creates literate minions. By educated, i mean people who can reason, who can think critically, who can see the world from different perspecti…

Withdrawal symptoms

Ctrl-tab
Ctrl-tab...
Scroll Scroll Scoll..
Alt-tab
Alt-tab...
Catch yourself slipping away.

Deep  breath. 

Close the browser. silence the mobile and turn it away.

Open an offline-real-paper diary. Stop your thighs from lolling impatiently. Stay still. 

Pick up a pen awkwardly. ahh, the fingers are stiff. It will take a  while for them to get used to holding a pen. Quick finger exercise - open the palm, stretch finger outwards, close into a fist, dig the fingers in. Repeat.
Ok now.. about to pick up the pen again, but eyes dart towards the screen. Tempted to check email.

Shut up. The last consequential email came two months ago. Nothing of consequence is online.

Pick up the pen. Don't fetishize the object now. Get on with it. Put it on paper, write a word and start it already. If I get to a sentence, perhaps I will get into a flow and won't have to look up from the paper at all. 

One sentence later.

Ahh. That was good. I am feeling good about myself. The sentence makes sense. …