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Delhi baby

Scene 1. At the grocery store.
The cashier is finalizing my purchase. busy tallying my bill. A woman enters, puts a bunch of bananas on the scale and orders to give some 'sooji'. Insistently.
The cashier is an experienced guy. curt. efficient. grey hair. he ignores her.
another woman enters and questions 'dalchini hai kya?'. in another 3 seconds, 'jaldi batao dalchini hai kya?'
Cashier asks her to wait. he gets flustered and pauses before resuming to tally my purchases. The second woman impatiently starts looking here and there, murmuring something. leaves.
The first woman can see that after my bill is made, it will be her turn very soon. But it seems that she is incapable of waiting. she pushes ahead and again says 'woh sooji bhi dena'. Its amazing how she tries to reframe the reality with she being at the center. she is assuming that its her purchase that is being entertained.

Scene 2. Traffic light. (any NCR traffic light.)
Red light. Cars stopped way ahead of the zebra crossing. that too without conviction. inching forward all the while. revving and stopping. ready to dash. looking out for police - and breaking the signal nevertheless (I have never seen police chasing a red light jumper in Delhi.) They are screaming through their accelerators - 'I am above the law'.
(why can't we just construct those railway crossing barriers.. the ones that go up and down with signal for signals in NCR too?)

Scene 3. Metro station. People standing in queue to get inside the station. Some men act as if the line does not exist and walk through. And when I ask them to back off and get in the line, they are genuinely surprised. 'Rules don't apply to me'


Is it that we who live in NCR are truly short of time? is it because we are impatient? I don't think so. Its a sense of entitlement. Its the sense of power. The pathology of a Delhite is that of a toddler - me, me, me. I am important and I deserve this, right now.
If Freud was around, he probably would have said that Delhiites have anal-expulsive personality. Its something that kids aged 1-3 might develop. It is as if Delhites haven't learnt the art of controlling their needs (bodily need, or image need). Because 'rules don't apply to me', we Delhites have developed a messy, destructive personality. 
And do you know what kind of parenting causes this kind of personality development? The lenient kind. At the seat of power, the only language is that of power. As power arbiters are erring on the side of caution when it comes to righting the wrong, when the wrong is being done by someone from the car owning class. and the power arbiters err on the side of excess for the classes below.

Unfortunately, the arbiters of power are clueless about parenting. Unfortunately, they need parenting themselves. 

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Withdrawal symptoms

Ctrl-tab
Ctrl-tab...
Scroll Scroll Scoll..
Alt-tab
Alt-tab...
Catch yourself slipping away.

Deep  breath. 

Close the browser. silence the mobile and turn it away.

Open an offline-real-paper diary. Stop your thighs from lolling impatiently. Stay still. 

Pick up a pen awkwardly. ahh, the fingers are stiff. It will take a  while for them to get used to holding a pen. Quick finger exercise - open the palm, stretch finger outwards, close into a fist, dig the fingers in. Repeat.
Ok now.. about to pick up the pen again, but eyes dart towards the screen. Tempted to check email.

Shut up. The last consequential email came two months ago. Nothing of consequence is online.

Pick up the pen. Don't fetishize the object now. Get on with it. Put it on paper, write a word and start it already. If I get to a sentence, perhaps I will get into a flow and won't have to look up from the paper at all. 

One sentence later.

Ahh. That was good. I am feeling good about myself. The sentence makes sense. …