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accumulating questions

Sundays are sacred days. Not in a religious sense. But in its ability to shift the gear of time, in its ability to lend lightness and calm energy to the air.
Lunch happens late, dinner comes early. Tea and kahwaa materialise by their own whim on the sole strength of habit.
Movies and novels can and do get consumed. But its the new lazy toys, Picassa and Photoshop, that witness the deceleration of time. Without aim, the tinkering starts. and ends. Today was no different.
Saw yeh saali zindagi, a film that could have done without some of its twists and turns. Then collated footage of lightnings for a future project. Uploaded a few pics to my pinterest page and compulsively checked if someone had liked/ repinned any of my pics. Then gave up after a while. Slept. washed clothes. Then saw another episode of Monty Python. Read a short story by Haruki Murakami about a couple who get hungry in the night and rob a Mcdonald's store for 30 of their burgers. and then it struck me. 

On this sacred day, when the gods of time relax and wink at us in shared happiness, I was busy greedily accumulating questions.

To be frank, the day had started with a dull desperation towards starting/ completing 'something' today - a story, an artwork, 'the' travel film... and when such expectations accumulate, my mind usually raises a middle finger to it and goes on to enjoy the simmering tea in the kitchen.
But since, I didn't answer the long standing quests that define my days these days, my mind went on to feed on and accumulate smaller questions.
Why did the lightning of that night did not make any sound?
Why is symmetry so enchanting? What is this quest in mirrors? Here, here & here
The absurdness of Monty Python is so eloquent, why not follow them?
Perhaps, dressing uncertainty with eventuality is a good recipe for a story. It works for Murakami.
While Murakami was feeling anxious with the metaphorical clear sea under the metaphorical boat, I was wondering, truly, what is clearer that nothingness?
While the protagonist follows his wife's actions with surprise, and ready acceptance, I was thinking whether being married essentially means to be ok with uncertainty?
finally, i was just relieved after reading a story of his that has a definite ending. :)

and for something completely different...
its time to pay my airtel broadband bill. :| 

Comments

Aparna m said…
large eyed - open them wide :)
to the beauty that is life - in a space of nothingness - for the world that we know is a perceived world in its entirety - the real world only an ocean of nothingness.Not for nothing did our great sages made vishnu sleep on his great Sheshnaag - in an ocean - as opaque and as clear as nothingness itself - for the great sages said that, THAT is the 'absolutism' of living life - everything else is just perceivedI draw analogies of your metaphorical boat on a sea of 'nothingness' from this
Ajinkya Pawar said…
 true. nothing = everything. knowing = unknowing. truth = myth

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Withdrawal symptoms

Ctrl-tab
Ctrl-tab...
Scroll Scroll Scoll..
Alt-tab
Alt-tab...
Catch yourself slipping away.

Deep  breath. 

Close the browser. silence the mobile and turn it away.

Open an offline-real-paper diary. Stop your thighs from lolling impatiently. Stay still. 

Pick up a pen awkwardly. ahh, the fingers are stiff. It will take a  while for them to get used to holding a pen. Quick finger exercise - open the palm, stretch finger outwards, close into a fist, dig the fingers in. Repeat.
Ok now.. about to pick up the pen again, but eyes dart towards the screen. Tempted to check email.

Shut up. The last consequential email came two months ago. Nothing of consequence is online.

Pick up the pen. Don't fetishize the object now. Get on with it. Put it on paper, write a word and start it already. If I get to a sentence, perhaps I will get into a flow and won't have to look up from the paper at all. 

One sentence later.

Ahh. That was good. I am feeling good about myself. The sentence makes sense. …