[This is a ridiculous diagnosis]
Beware! A ghastly disease is on rise these days. It turns a perfectly capable adult into a challenged toddler who needs assistance.
Who is at risk?
It is sweeping across glass towers, big cars and countless cabins in city offices across India. Specifically, perfectly capable adults who start earning 7 figure salaries tend to be at high risk of turning into a differently-abled toddler. So the initial observations allude to it being a classist disease.
Recent studies have revealed that, being wealthy is not the only determinant - it affects people who tend to make irrational choices - such as purchase of INR 35,000 for a laptop bag when one can buy another that is just as good for around INR 1,000.
The irrationality alludes to it being a mental disease rather than a physical disability.
They seem perfectly capable, healthy even, but are unable to do the most basic human action ever - of carrying one's own bags/ dishes/ wipes.
People who tend to own expensive bags are rendered disabled to hold/ lift/ carry these bags themselves.
People who can (and do) gorge on the contents of the tiered and heavy tiffins/ take-outs can't seem somehow to hold the same weight in their own hands. So essentially the stomach muscle is working fine, but hand and brain muscle is not.
People who can't order at the canteen and wait for their turn like normal human beings. They must be fed like little toddlers in their crib - their cabin. They can't walk to their food like adults, the food must be brought to them.
They are incapable of walking up from their seat to fetch water/ coffee.
They need assistance all the time. So the easiest symptom to spot is the presence of another human being around them. The person is often employed by the disease ridden individual. The person is called a driver sometimes, a peon at other times or a maid at home.
The need for such assistance is economically feasible and socially acceptable largely in third world countries, characterised by overwhelming poverty and a minority of oblivious and privileged narcissists.
It is too early to decode, but initial guesses of scientists suggest an interesting hypothesis.
Apparently the cause of this behavior is a little smarmy worm that enters the host's ears through empty praise they hear of their coterie. The smarmy worm then makes it's way into the host's head. It then starts singing loud praises with a background score of applause and orgasms 24x7. The brain of the host comes unhinged by this incessant assault on the host's concept of self. It unmoors his identity from that of people around him. The host turns into a faithful of the deity called self. The host now sees only himself/herself as real, everyone else as merely support cast in the film scripted by the smarmy worm projected inside the empty head of the host. As the smarmy worm eat away the brain, the shrinking brain effectively turns the clock back on the brain development, reverting to the default of 3 year old. and hence the toddler like behavior.
The only know cure for this condition is to send an antidote worm through the other ear of the host. This worm carries with it a much louder speaker system - in stereo and a 3D visual projection system. It drowns out the sounds and visions of the smarmy worm. It instead super imposes ideas of Noam Chomsky, Buddha, Ivan Illich, Mahatma Jyotirao Phule, Ambedkar and many more. It doesn't matter if ideas are conflicting or not, interesting or not, comprehensible or not... what matters is the plurality of thoughts and its people. After all, a thought has imprints of thousands of grimy minds on it. and by accepting plurality of thoughts, you accept the existence of a plurality of people.