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career shareer

5 years is a long time if you say it out loud. "5 years!"
Its been that long since i started earning money, being responsible & having a routine.
and that little fact is unfathomable. firstly, because the expectations I had for myself and the reality of my self just don't match up, any which way. and yet, I am oddly content. (even if I have created nothing awesome yet.) (and contentedness finds me from various other directions.)
Secondly, as you get 'experienced' in something, it gets that much more easier to advance in the same field, get better at it rather than moving in other directions. *alarm bells* (or rather those dub step horns from Inception)
Thirdly, the opportunities are sure to dwindle as you take on higher and higher responsibilities unless you can reinvent/ repurpose yourself. (How many national planning directors can there be in a country?) Hence the criticality of the decision.
so that brings me to my current dilemma. Here I want to share the thought process behind my decision. (or the thought process to rationalize my very emotional decision) The decision is about 'what next'? I am clear about not pursuing entrepreneurial dream for another 2 years at least. so it leaves me to decide which company to pursue.
and here's the set of parameters I am evaluating each option against. Hope this helps you as well/ you help me make this better.
What I have done is written down points (made up) on a scale of 1-10 for each of these parameters for each of the companies being considered. (a few in current industry, a few in another industry which might give me skills that I want to learn) I leave the field blank if I am very uncertain about something. (incentivising certainty) and then add up the total. and voila! I have a decision.


learning new things
will it help me achieve the future i desire (*written down here in a single sentence*)
chance of meeting interesting people
my consequence in greater scheme of things
my chance of becoming the top dog
pride in work
would everyday tasks be joyful?
will it allow to pursue hobbies?
are the people who I would be working with, likeable?
locational benefits
ease of entry



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Things turn into cash
once they are stripped of their lives -
their breath,
their freedom,
their dignity
or their joy.

A fish on the table
and a cubicle dweller..
both are united in their solvency,
their ability to be stripped of their lives and turned into money.

This solvency is our own making
Hold up your hands against the sun and your favourite gods
Do they dissolve? 
Hold up your heart and see if it beats for them
Hold your joys in your hands and fling them towards the system,
does it stick?

For a better world
first we need to walk away from this world.

The rich will always have heavier hammers

Just read this - ‘I want to help humans genetically modify themselves’
So a guy is obsessed with a certain technology, feels he can be a pioneer to a brave new world and justifies it to himself in bad faith by thinking - "This technology that I’m trying to do is for all of us. Whether you’re a big corporation or somebody in their basement, you have access to this stuff – everybody does. People respond very positively to that."

This, I believe is a dangerous belief - that tech can 'level the playing field' in a sense. It never does.
Internet was supposed to be the great leveler. And for a while with Yahoo anonymous chat and early days of mushrooming internet cafes, it really did feel that way. But soon enough, the powerful people have turned it into a tool that is more advantageous to their interest at the expense of common people's. Governments use it for surveillance and propaganda. Companies use it to brainwash people into buying things they don't need.…