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Absolute identity v/s fluid identity

Absolute identity


The world wants you to know for sure, what you want to be. Ads, movies, inspiring talking heads.. all want you to 'find yourself'.

You believe in absolute identity. The belief that there is one possible ideal future for you and it is your primary duty to 'find' that future.
The concept of 'finding' is quite alluring. It is not as heavy as the concept of doing or making. It is rife with possibilities. It doesn't kill possibilities. It celebrates the 'potential'. And 'potential' talks to you about the awesome you that no one knows about, but you surely do. 'Potential' stalls your actions, for who do you really need to prove, if not yourself?

And in that sedentary search, you end up doing nothing. So scared of walking in any other direction than 'the one for you', that you would rather 'wait'.

Fluid Identity
Your future is uncertain. Future always is.
What if you stop trying to fight that uncertainty? How would you feel, if you knew that your future identity is not in your hands (to a large extent)? Is that thought perplexing or liberating?
The only variable in your identity that you control is your acts. stuff you do.
Even then, there are a million ways that those acts would be perceived.
Should that bother you? Is inventing a sharp personality for yourself really that important?
Whose perception matters?
The ones you love? the ones you respect? or the ones you merely know of?


shouldn't your primary duty be towards establishing meaningful relationships?

Comments

Anonymous said…
long time no see! good come back. Read Zen and the Art of motorcycle maintenance? Recommend it..
Ajinkya said…
thanks. :)
sure thing. some day.

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Withdrawal symptoms

Ctrl-tab
Ctrl-tab...
Scroll Scroll Scoll..
Alt-tab
Alt-tab...
Catch yourself slipping away.

Deep  breath. 

Close the browser. silence the mobile and turn it away.

Open an offline-real-paper diary. Stop your thighs from lolling impatiently. Stay still. 

Pick up a pen awkwardly. ahh, the fingers are stiff. It will take a  while for them to get used to holding a pen. Quick finger exercise - open the palm, stretch finger outwards, close into a fist, dig the fingers in. Repeat.
Ok now.. about to pick up the pen again, but eyes dart towards the screen. Tempted to check email.

Shut up. The last consequential email came two months ago. Nothing of consequence is online.

Pick up the pen. Don't fetishize the object now. Get on with it. Put it on paper, write a word and start it already. If I get to a sentence, perhaps I will get into a flow and won't have to look up from the paper at all. 

One sentence later.

Ahh. That was good. I am feeling good about myself. The sentence makes sense. …