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the wasted

I haven't posted much after the above less-than-mediocre post. and i can't even give an excuse of lack of time.. probably, my orkut profile defines me more aptly..
wasted.
well.. to keep this rolling, i am digging out the old dirt..
this is one of the early poems i tried to scribble.
try to fathom it and let me now, how much u hate it..



Forgive me god, for I've not been worthful.
The love u gave in me, I 've not been giving out.
The mind u gave birth 2, is still holding itself down.
The gifts u hid in me, still lay there unpacked,
for I am so polluted, I couldn't see the signs.
The thought-machine u fuelled, I steer in wrong directions.
It still circumnavigates only around the lone sphere of myself.
The sum total of neuron's trains still fight over ambiguous destinations.
The me within me is so distant, that I need to remember who I think I am.
I keep a mirror on my desk, coz' I cant always remember my face.
And I wonder at the mirror of ur creation and what it is reduced to.
So beautiful, So dirty.
So simple, So complicated.
So nice, So disrespectful.
So aware, So assuming.
Such usher, so lost.
so full, so wasted.
So much, useless.
So me , so me.
So me to be under ur tree,
help me, find me.
help me, find me.

Comments

Mr. Kitsch said…
Hi!

I'm Mauro Civera Ro.
I've read your message in my blog. I've added you in my links
Thank you very much!
I've seen your blog and it's very interesting

See you

Mauro
hey jeenie
coming to ur blog after a long time & kinda disappointed to not see many updates after d last time i came here.

anyways the poem is beautiful. i am sorry, can;t think of any other word... u r aware that i have a limited vocab!!!
amazing poem but yea.. buddy you aren't wasted!! thats the last thing i would probably say for u.

anyways.. keep logging onto orkut & keep blogging. i love reading your posts.


btw that scrolling "wasted" thing was amazing!! hw did u do it?? :O:O
im so bad at al dis techie stuff!!
god!! y did i take eco!! :((
Sankalp Parihar said…
heyy jinkie!
so ur a poet tooo...coool
didnt know that!

great poem!
but since im not very poetic myself, i didnt fathom it compltetely! Still u rock!

keep up the good work:)
Megha said…
wow ur blog is too good[:)]
Ajinkya said…
@megz..
thank u, madame`.. coming from such a accomplished poet herself..
i am ever so debtful to u [:D]

@natz
u r the gunpowder of this blog.. no kiddin.. for a while, i thought only u read my stuff.. [:P].. thank u a ton..

@sanky
thanks for the appreciation man! i am really very happy. and yes, get out of that gloom u have put up in ur blog..
Cheer up! [:)]
hey jeenie
coming to ur blog after a long time & kinda disappointed to not see many updates after d last time i came here.

anyways the poem is beautiful. i am sorry, can;t think of any other word... u r aware that i have a limited vocab!!!
amazing poem but yea.. buddy you aren't wasted!! thats the last thing i would probably say for u.

anyways.. keep logging onto orkut & keep blogging. i love reading your posts.


btw that scrolling "wasted" thing was amazing!! hw did u do it?? :O:O
im so bad at al dis techie stuff!!
god!! y did i take eco!! :((
Ajinkya said…
@megz..
thank u, madame`.. coming from such a accomplished poet herself..
i am ever so debtful to u [:D]

@natz
u r the gunpowder of this blog.. no kiddin.. for a while, i thought only u read my stuff.. [:P].. thank u a ton..

@sanky
thanks for the appreciation man! i am really very happy. and yes, get out of that gloom u have put up in ur blog..
Cheer up! [:)]

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Withdrawal symptoms

Ctrl-tab
Ctrl-tab...
Scroll Scroll Scoll..
Alt-tab
Alt-tab...
Catch yourself slipping away.

Deep  breath. 

Close the browser. silence the mobile and turn it away.

Open an offline-real-paper diary. Stop your thighs from lolling impatiently. Stay still. 

Pick up a pen awkwardly. ahh, the fingers are stiff. It will take a  while for them to get used to holding a pen. Quick finger exercise - open the palm, stretch finger outwards, close into a fist, dig the fingers in. Repeat.
Ok now.. about to pick up the pen again, but eyes dart towards the screen. Tempted to check email.

Shut up. The last consequential email came two months ago. Nothing of consequence is online.

Pick up the pen. Don't fetishize the object now. Get on with it. Put it on paper, write a word and start it already. If I get to a sentence, perhaps I will get into a flow and won't have to look up from the paper at all. 

One sentence later.

Ahh. That was good. I am feeling good about myself. The sentence makes sense. …