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6/7/2004 2:40 pm

Huge dillema about changing college. With much guilt, and disposal of consious thinking, with concern for a few grands,.. decided to remain in SVMEC. Still feelin' bad about it. I had thought that, instead of spending all those loads of money, lubricating the process of changing college, I could remain in SVMEC, and use that money for better, especially now, Since the construction of our bungalow is going on. It would have saved me about 2 n' a half hour everyday. I could have been able to pack in more...far more. Tennis, Piano. Not that I am giving those up. I would have to work real hard.
With my first steps in the college after all these months, I had a sickening feeling. I found myself grinding my teeth at one instant, kicking in air. {Right now a bird came in a tree in front my balcony. I immidiately thought of shooting it down ...:?} The college exudes an air of staleness, everybody here has a loose spirit. No energy. No smiles. Imbecility .. Everything has to happen here in a round about way. There r no reasons for things to happen. OMS Students have been forced to stay in college hostels alone. There is no cooperation towards students. This place has taken a mud bath of mediocrity. Few aspire excellence, and still will show mediocrity to help themselves socialise. Very few. I feel anger towards these institute, who robbed me of so many opportunities. Who tries time n again to stupor me into a realm of their, where there is no reason, no logic. All that is, is coz' they say so. Pronunciation of words such as 'Why' and 'how' etc. are considered satan's prayers. It is assumed to be a threat to their existence aind is responsed to with vehemence.
But I have decided, never to give justification to any failure accorded to me.
Nevertheless, The only reason for the smile on my face, were my friends. My classmates, all of them, from yesteryears, gave a hearty welcome. This and the fact that this shit (SVMEC) had been dumped in a very beautiful surrounding (albeit, a bit far) gives some solace to think of myself among the zombie's slew for another 2 years.

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Catch yourself slipping away.

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