Digging for Meaning

Without letting me know, the sunday sun slipped away, the gathering darkness instigated hungers in my being. the touch-phone remained untouched. the unfinished projects remained unfinished. the story remains, without a start and without an end. must i eat? must i create? must i reach out?  the expanding tired weight pulls down energies... the excess, the excess, the excess!  the meditative escapes into menial chores provided stillness and peace, but no solutions.  what to do? where to go? whom to meet? what to eat?  The mind vacates through the gaps in between the internet browser's tabs. Hammered friday, alive saturday.. sunday with a promise to end. 11 pm. Maybe I can attend to the to-do list. Maybe I can at least start that one idea. Maybe I should just justify the sunday with some useless proofs of my existence. kitchen is a better place for that proof to exist in rather than the internet. But old habits die hard. Click publish, and on with the M...

when the lights go out and the city's TVs and chat windows are left lifeless the lonely legs bring the living souls to the windows and balconies of the lonely city. and in that honest dark time, the city sighs. empty heavy gazes converge in the heat of the city. hearts on window sill breath for life in the hot mist.

My mind farts out ridiculous scenarios and stories all the time. Almost always, I brush them away and go on with the order of the day. Last Wednesday was different. Well, to begin with I had taken a day off in the middle of the week. But more importantly, I decreed to myself that nothing is silly or alternatively, everything is silly . There is no point in evaluating and judging on things that are yet to be created. One must go at least one step in the direction before deciding. So, here's a little silly story that i  am building now.  Here are the first 8 pages of the story. The story will keep on growing here  http://pinterest.com/thejinkatrip/tatkal/ Many of you are confused about the name. 'tatkal'. well, guess i will give away the plot of the story here, to ensure that you would remain interested in the story.  its a story about this person who has a certain troubling feeling that he can't identify in the beginning, but soon reali...

What's your dream? Really? Are you sure? So are you going to do everything in your power to make that dream a reality? How are  you so sure? What's so special about that one dream? When a thousand things are possible, how can you make yourself focus on a single goal? What gave you that clarity? Tell me. TELL ME.

If I show you picture of kids and the word 'growth' in large letters next to it.. what does that tell you? ' What do you think?' I am not saying anything. maybe they will grow to be giants jumping on those letters sponsored by Aquaguard.. maybe , while jumping on those letters, a centimetre will be added per limb per jump...   maybe  it will lead to a sudden spurt in Indian's presence in World wrestling federation..  so how does it work? Do you have to apply the Aquaguard water at the sole of your feet? Does it work 'holistically' with your body? If we keep drinking Aquaguard water, how many centimetres will be added to my height/ biceps/ etc per month?  No? no such benefits? then why write growth -shoth kind of bakwaas? oh, so it is supposed to be your RTB (Reason to believe). Its really an acronym for something..  Global. Reverse osmosis. ultra violet. taste heightener.  So its really a machine that heightens the taste of the globe through...

30 its just a matter of a few years. and there I will be. under the glorious arches of 30-hood.  30 The number shines brightly in my head. Its a milestone that constantly barges into my vision, wherever i may be looking. i imagine it to be a small leprechaun like creature that's running around in 2 concentric circles. One around my head - the constant running threatens to add creases on my forehead. and the other around my waist, where the constant running is adding to the roundness of my person.  30  it constantly asks me to look back. 'Look back!' it screams. and then it tries to hold steady my gaze back into my past. Its a direction I have not frequently lingered on. The opposite direction was much more alluring in the past, and now I live content being in the present. But 30 makes me want to take stock of what i was set out for, and what grounds I have covered. I have never been good with appraisal, and this one will be the toughest. (I am happy with my l...

heat. heat  is everywhere. the skin burns and eyes cower... With every breath of the sun, the curtains beg to be taken further inside the room. They flare and spread themselves in appeal. But then swiftly the relatively cooler winds of the home, throw them back to their guarding positions - the in between world of negotiations. the world between the hospitable world of inside and the savage world of outside. and yet, the heat is everywhere. The little home is not crowded. and yet, it seems as if books are shaking and pushing away the neighboring books. The used clothes lying carelessly on the spare bed are un-crumpling themselves and spreading themselves to cool off. Heap over heap of clothes to be washed. Books upon books, that are yet to be read. The heat is evaporating the will to engage with challenging thoughts and acts. These days, the sour, dour magazines are going straight to a corner of the room that has no future. The corner is a mini black hole ...