Digging for Meaning

Earlier today I wrote here about Coke's new advertisement. Essentially I made an argument that its an irresponsible communication from a corporate giant who is not acting responsibly on ground and spreading message of hope through commercial communications. This two faced-ness is dangerous to our generation and a big bane for the health of our earth. However a dear friend made a valid point. That by creating ruckus with such campaigns, I am essentially robbing people of the optimism that these campaigns create. and this made me think. Is it right for me (or for any individual for that matter) to critically question everything even at the cost of causing displeasure? Is it more important for a people to be happy than being truthfully aware of what they are being subjected to? On a personal level too, I have faced this dilemma often and am now only beginning to learn to hold my views when the person i am talking to is not ready to listen to any contrarion thought or that the moment...

was listening to Rob Dougan 's ' One and the same '. Its such a beautiful song. If you close your eyes while listening to it, it gives you a feeling of continuous upward motion. Not flying, but floating upwards. Like having achieved all that your life was meant for. A content smile playing on one's face powering the upward descent. (Hmm.. christian influence on me?) And then I saw a mosquito.. doing just about that. flying steadily upwards. I was jealous for a second there.

while walking back home today evening, i walked past a middle aged person. everything was normal about him. not too fat, not thin. slightly greying hair. he was wearing a sky blue shirt and dark blue pant. the sleeve folded once, presumably right after stepping out of office. He was walking sprightly. He was visibly very happy. he had a white handkerchief in his hand, which instinctively often went to cover his mouth. He was censoring his smile. The effervescent smile bubbling out of him, he wished to rein. his happiness sought expression. his sense of normal social conduct didn't allow for such excesses. His whole body was stiffening with happiness, as if in revolt to the censor. his gait's rhythm had broken. the personal human is caged by the social animal.

WTF!!! Gunmen Attack Sri Lankan Cricket Team, 6 Players seriously injured... :( My left toe hurts :( is racing against time! :( (These are some random status messages) all miseries, all troubles... of any shape and proportion. one size sad smiley. (sad smiley! oxy moron) i hope this doesn't make us react the same in real life as well. i hope. :) (i am so tempted to get into one of my long winding explanations. i will skip that here though.. just go read thomas de zengotita's 'mediated' (especially the concept of 'the blob') and something about how not only is our smile a reflection of feelings, but the act of smiling can create the feeling of happiness by itself. it runs both ways. it was in one of those pop marketing books i guess, 'blink' or some such shit.)

I have always lead sleepless nights. Relished in its stillness. Its beauty, the beauty of shapes and sounds that come to fore that are hidden at other times. The still coolness, so unassuming and comforting. The smell of wet leaves and dew damp soil. Where the individual becomes so prominent. The lone leaf waving to you, comrade in the dark rhythm of night. But these days these sleepless nights are finding a shape in loneliness. Maybe I have always been lonely. It might be so, that I never had the courage to confront it. Weird thought, isn't it? My own emotions alien to me. Turning human, slowly. I don't know if its an ascent or a descent.

11/6/2008 It seems that people are afraid more of the possible fear that lurks in the uncertain corners along the journey of our lives. It’s a sorry shit that, this is what one learns through facing fears through childhood. Banishing emotions and replacing them with a certain façade, hysterical from within, cool without.