Digging for Meaning

  What good am I if a friend can't trust me with her feelings. I thought she was a good friend. May be I am being too judgemental and quick to descend in gloom, but I am, more than anything else, doubting my own ability to build relationships. (I guess, I am being self centered, thinking about myself rather than her woes, that has got her distraught in the first place. Instead of trying to coax her into telling me something so that I may help, or to lighten up her spirit, I am here writing this... but i also sensed that she wanted to share her grief with someone else... so i guess i was right in leaving them alone.)I have never been good at building relationship. May be I am too lazy for it. May be I just don't get it. May be I lack that social gene which enables one to have relationships. May be I am too bloody naive. Correction... i am too bloody naive. But then again, there are numerous incidences where my friends would surprise me by confiding in me their greatest and most...

Why are we so blasé today? Everyone of us. This whole pathetic generation of ours. The first doubt we ask after seeing Auswitchz photographs is about the veracity of the incident itself. Then we ponder over the scientific achievements that the genocide affected. And then, we eagerly lap up stupid Feng Shui Crap without as much a voice of curious doubt. No voice of reason, but only senseless submission. The examples are endless. I thought, MICA of all places, would have people harbouring some kind of stupid dreams and passions. But the tragedies continue here as well, we all are very 'rational' creatures. We don't like to 'believe' in anything that demands thinking and individuality. I wonder why are we so conformist towards certain issues, that need to be challenged before they establish themselves into mainstream. Why are we always in a third person mode, dissecting issues as if they don't affect us and negating the very act of questioning with utmost zeal. We ...

i find myself in a peculiar quandary. I have to take a decision that will veritably affect my life quite some. I have been selected in MICA, which FYI is a coveted communications school in India. Since my third year in engineering, i had wanted to be in this school... more than anywhere else in India. Then, on a fateful dinner conversation in my final year, my dad suggested that he would be happy if I chose to study in a foreign university. My dad had that proud-content smile when he suggested that. That was an important event, cuz previously I didnt allow myself to think of possibilities abroad considering the extravagant moolah it would cost. I researched Japan (the course was good, different but pricey.. but i wanted toe experience something different), Finland (almost free edu :D, but there were just too many formalities to be done4 applyin (besides i had already recieved admits from US).. but i would have loved to c the midnight sun..:( .. maybe sometime later as an businessman r...

Our success as builders of the society, its structures, its culture is largely based on our ability to 'analyse'. To deconstruct things and ideas into smaller parts, that we can comprehend and put together to provide 'us' with an 'intelligble' idea. Probably we arent evolved much yet, to comprehend the whole without deconstructing it. (or rather, we live in ignorance of our earlier spiritual achievements.)Another facet of this is our need for assumptions. We cannot build anyting without the imaginary support of assumptions. No doubt, assumptions are mostly based on solid evidences. But the success of this model of reasoning, of synthesizing and assuming, has cost us dearly. The success has enslaved most of us, and we cant c options beyond them. We employ these methods, where they are not applicable. For instance: 'abstract'[?] ideas such as human relationships, human interconnectedness. well, i questioned 'abstract', cuz we are so used to quantiz...

How can one gauge into one's soul? This intrigue is all the more urgent after the Noida incident. What if ur neighbour of twenty years turns out a devinl in disguise. How can we stop him/her if we dont know his diabolical side. How may we know, when he is gonna strike. I used to think, that these are just reults of moments of madness..but then, how does one explain the noida incident. The SOB systematically lured, plotted, raped, sawed off his victims. Is he a human to be able to do this? he very much seems like one. albeit, sould dead. loser in the yin-yang war that rages within each and everyone of us. (Every single action of ours is afterall a victory or loss of either of these two counteractive forces, the good and the bad) Lets say,the evil part is a deep dark abyss within us. It tries to suck everything around it. Once u go into it, its hard to climb out. Our good soul, however, guards around it. always trying to expand to reach out to others. So while the good soul is trying...

its so unreal to read my posts of yore, especially due to my pathetic memory.. (Did I do THAT? Was it like THaT? We were Friends?.. ) So to shake me up in my distant future...(through words...i leave a portal to past! HEavy!!!!), here's a NEWS post..news about me.. answer to all 'wassssuuuuuuppppppppps' s. i am 22 now..done with mech engg.. for good. took gre, got 1460/1600. so am trying to make use of that score by applying to US universities. Though, for MS in advertising/imc. yeah.. advertising/IMC. [amber's reaction to this - but u were doing some automobile designing stuff na?] [natz - :0] [ambya - ohh... whats next?] [piyush - awesome!] well, along with this, we at CultUth had submitted a biz plan at a biz plan competition "eureka-2006" at IITB, and guess what we got selected in the first round! :D Now we will be havin' a mentor's meet on the 10th this month. The biz plan is essentially about better Tshirt designs, and a web portal that would co...

Words flow in my veins down through fingers into the paper. Diffusing a bit, infusing a scent of the moment. The scent thats clouding over this desk is of something else... something i have often felt, but never completely understood; something so much a part of me, that i am oblivious to it for most of the times. The scent is sombre, hot and a bit stiffling, contrasting the cold winds that blow freely these days in Nasik. The scent hangs in this air that i breath, unmoving, with its heavy anchor in my heart. i can feel its weight.. trying to go deeper. (no kiddin') what is it? my brain is screaming with urgency..what is it? I am not happy.I am not sad. why must it always be either or a combination of these? there must be an alternative. Why cant i take a deep breath of reason, and dive into the vast ocean of the 'uber reality'..the conscience..the nature..the counterpart of reason? Ahh..god doesnt let us reach the choiciest gifts so easily.