Digging for Meaning

Aug 19 2004 8:35 pm We almost touch our self-destruction button, every day. And the greater tragedy is that, we celebrate this in our lives through art, the most. It’s a miracle, the co existence of the genius mind with the corrupted and the frail. Art that is the guiding light for many, art that is soul’s food for many, and unfortunately the excuse for many. 22/8/2004 12:55 am Whenever U find a descrepency between ur thought of self and ur actions, check ur premises, u r living a lie. U r making ur self believe a comfortable exit way from the truth, the way to self immolation.. through the tunnel of self pity and favourable assumptions, and considerations of just comfortable truths. This is the greatest sin in the world. the very root of Indian demise. The sin of self immolation, of not trying TRUTHFULLY to rise to ur potentia.Without consideration of the truth or the logic that governs it. With every lie u lend ur hand to, it is pulling u deeper into the quick sand of a world, ...

6/7/2004 2:40 pm Huge dillema about changing college. With much guilt, and disposal of consious thinking, with concern for a few grands,.. decided to remain in SVMEC. Still feelin' bad about it. I had thought that, instead of spending all those loads of money, lubricating the process of changing college, I could remain in SVMEC, and use that money for better, especially now, Since the construction of our bungalow is going on. It would have saved me about 2 n' a half hour everyday. I could have been able to pack in more...far more. Tennis, Piano. Not that I am giving those up. I would have to work real hard. With my first steps in the college after all these months, I had a sickening feeling. I found myself grinding my teeth at one instant, kicking in air. {Right now a bird came in a tree in front my balcony. I immidiately thought of shooting it down ...:?} The college exudes an air of staleness, everybody here has a loose spirit. No energy. No smiles. Imbecility ...

3 of my earlier written poems Following my thoughts, Trusting ,my brain, If u do so ....(there was a diff line here, I dont remeber) , u r probably insane Dont ask me to lend my wisdom, Urs is the truth, fo ur kingdom, Truth is a mere electrical signal, bits, bytes and a nibble, From ur senses, to ur brain, sum of all the neurons' train. Or it might be, more than just our feelings, Through the doors from other dimensions, the truth is kneeling Every action & substance has a reason to arise, Or it might be a grand fluke in the god's game of dice. On our eyes is the smoke screen of our thought culture, self centred, delirious thoughts have been nurtured. Misery is the medium of our genesis We gotta free our mind for a grand metamorphosis. There is more to us, inside of us, than us..... A million days, born every day, to these moments, behind the veil of time A million moments, makes me smile, cry look into the soul's eye .( originally ..mak...